Sunday, October 3, 2010

Guide to Survivng the First Wave

I summited Mt. Thomson yesterday, 16 miles roundtrip, 5 pitches roped climbing great weather and stellar views.Unfortunately my buddy left his camera along the trail so no pics. He's going to go back and try and find it so hopefully I'll post a complete trip report with photos in the future, but in the meantime the zombies are back, how are you going to deal with it?

Guide to Surviving the First Wave
Emotional detachment: The surest way to die is to help an infected loved one. Once bitten they are DEAD. Crying and begging are simply reflex actions, like chickens running about after losing their heads. As painful as it is you must exterminate all zombies. Just remember that your zombie mother is actually the one who murdered your mother, exact your sweet revenge. If you can handle that you’re prepared for the ensuing zombie killing spree.
Zombie Weak Points: Two words: Head Shot. The sooner you start following this rule the better. All information shows that the only way to “kill” a zombie is to damage the remaining brain matter. Removing limbs might slow them down, but you’re wasting ammo because you’ll have to finish the job when they start crawling after you on their arms. Zombieland’s “Double-tap” policy is a good idea as well. Determining if the zombie is dead is difficult considering the state of decay and getting close enough to actually check is dangerous. Just shoot them one more time in the head.

Get somewhere safe: If you’ve got the skills and equipment it’s time to head for the hills. Barricading yourself in proves to be a temporary measure at best, and often a fatal one. The best thing to do is to get away from everyone, zombies and humans. The zombies will likely stay in the urban areas as that is where the food will be and most likely lack the motivation to pursue outdoor recreation activities. College kids its time to go home, your dorm is going to turn into a non-stop rager, except with brains, not booze on the menu. If you’re attending out of state, staying on campus might be your only option, but you’re going to have to get creative. The rec center should have some sports equipment you can use as weapons, also try the anthropology dept. Cafeterias should have large stocks of canned goods.

Keep a well-stocked emergency supply: You could go out all and have a bomb shelter packed with 2 tons of MRE’s, but let’s be realistic. Store a few gallons of water and have a filter and purification tablets. The drinking supply may be the original source of infection. I think the important thing is to have a cupboard full of canned goods so you can last about a month without having to forage. Think about it, there will be lots of folks who didn’t have supplies stocked up rushing out to infection points like large public shopping areas. While the mall proved a successful stronghold in Dawn of the Dead, grocery stores will certainly be dangerous early on. Flesh eating zombies will be attracted to the raw meat, but only until it runs out or completely rots in a few weeks. Not only will you have to fend off zombies that but things might get ugly when greedy looters fight over supplies, let them shoot it out and get chomped on while you enjoy Chef Boyardee for a few weeks. If you can sit out the initial mob, foraging will be much safer.

Own some weapons: More to come on this in the Armory post, but heres the basics.
Guns: you don’t have to have an arsenal, but owning a gun will greatly increase your odds of survival. Shotgun or pistol is your best option.
Melee: Even with a gun, a good old-fashioned beating stick is absolutely essential for when you run out of ammo. Think baseball bat, crowbar or riot baton.
Blades: Unless you are a samurai master or medieval Scotsman, stay away from fancy katanas and broadswords. Stick with a machete if you want to do some chopping, a simple flick of the wrist will easily sever limbs and decapitate. Anything shorter is going to put you inside the biting radius.

Avoid safe zones: These are just like cattle feed lots, you might think everything is all good but there is only on inevitable outcome: the slaughterhouse. This is not the time to rely on the government to protect you, especially since they were probably somehow involved in the initial infection. The large crowds will only attract zombies. Even if security is strong enough to repel actual zombies, more than likely a recently bitten person will get through, turn into zombie in a few hours and then everyone is screwed. Also if the military is at all smart these will just be roundups so they can exterminate any potential infecteds including you.

Congratulations you are now in the elite group of remaining humans known as Zombie Apocalypse Survivalists. Check back soon for a more detailed guide to Living in the Zombie Apocalypse.


  1. This is awesome. I love zombies, I just wish a zombie Apocalypse would happen already, I wanna kill some of those fuckers. haha

  2. pahaha- good thing to know! I feel safer!

  3. Great post!

    looking forward to reading the next one

  4. very nice
    i like it
    supportin !

  5. Great read! Love reading about surviving zombie apocalypses.

  6. I wish someday the zombie apocalypse will come.

  7. Great post friend. I love zombies and post-apocalyptic genres.

  8. I will keep these things in mind when the zombies arrive. It is only a matter of time...

  9. Have you been playing Dead Rising 2? lol